Iridescence
by Professional Magical Girl
Summary: In which Akari Yukimura finds herself playing a new role. Set in the same universe as Teenage Wasteland. Rated T for various reasons (warnings inside).


**Here's the Mom!Kayano oneshot I've been teasing in my author's notes. It's a prequel to** ** _Teenage Wasteland_** **, but it can be hopefully enjoyed without reading that.  
**

 **Things before we go forth:**

 **1\. Warning: There's a suicide about 5,000 words into this. If that topic is sensitive to you, you may want to skip everything between Hiromi visiting newborn Aguri and Akari/Kayano returning to acting.**

 **2\. Aguri means 'last daughter' and is generally a name that parents give their daughter if they were hoping for a boy or want their next child to be a boy. It's pretty uncommon in modern Japan because of the negative connotations it carries. Also, naming kids after people, especially dead people, isn't really a thing in Japanese culture. This will be relevant.**

 **3\. I think the T rating might be pushing it, let me know if it should be bumped up to M.**

 **4\. It was an enormous struggle figuring out how to end this fic. I had another idea, but I decided to save that one for the end of _Teenage Wasteland_. Let me know if it was lacking, I'm unsure myself.  
**

 **5\. This was a massive labor of love, because I've been developing these headcanons for the past two years. I tried my best to keep Kayano in character, but I don't know how I did.**

 **With that in mind, review (pretty please?) and enjoy.**

* * *

When Akari Yukimura woke up on a bright cold October morning, something felt off. She thought about it all day, all night, to the point of putting off household chores. To the point that it distracted her from her acting for the next few days. But there was no apparent cause. She tried to brush it off, but it continued for the next two weeks. It was as if just a small detail were off and it set off her entire day, every day for a week.

Akari Yukimura, though she was only known by that name to two living people (only one of whom spoke to her), went to work on Monday anyway. She looked at the date and time. _8:23 am. October 9, 2023_. Sigh. There was still something off. The train lurched. It made her feel faint.

Akari reclined on her couch, trying to calm her breathing. Why was she this keyed up? She couldn't escape from it. Nothing took her mind off of it. She thought of Koro-sensei patting her head with his tentacle. _There there, Kayano. Everything will be just fine._ That calmed her to some extent. Maybe she was just sick or something.

She walked into the kitchen, where Nagisa was preparing eggs over rice for dinner. The smell made her throw up.

 _11:03 am. Sunday, October 15, 2023._ She was, to put it simply, bored. Nagisa was with one of the students he was tutoring. She had tried to contact their other friends, but it seemed _everyone_ was busy today. Kanzaki was working all day, Okuda was in the lab, Sugino was at baseball practice. Akari couldn't wait for Nagisa to come back. He always made her feel better, even as of the past two weeks. She'd ask him to make her some pudding, or a cup of hot chocolate. Even her bad mood didn't put a damper on her love of sweets.

She went into the kitchen, scratching her belly. Her eyes fell on the calendar. When the realization came to her, she felt her heart stop.

She was supposed to get her period two days ago.

She counted back the days on the calendar, checked for the text she sent to Nagisa complaining about her need for chocolate during her last time of the month and compared it to the days she marked on the calendar. Yep, she was missing it all right.

Akari tried to will her heart to stop pounding in her ears, but it didn't happen. She waited for the next few days, trying to convince herself it would happen soon enough.

It didn't. By Thursday she realized that she had delayed the inevitable.

So now here she was, sitting on the toilet, waiting for the test she bought in disguise at the convenience store to show results.

Her mind was racing with thoughts of what exactly her situation was here. She would turn 22 next month, still practically a teenager. She was a big star, starting out the day of all of Japan with her morning drama, _Dragonfly_. If her fans found out the charming, innocent, sweet, delicate little flower they knew as Haruna Mase had a love child, her career would be over.

And Nagisa? He had just started out his job as a high school teacher. He worked long hours and came home to work more long hours writing lesson plans and grading tests. He had too much on his plate to be a father right now. The nerve of her, to put him in this position.

The test had to be negative. She was not prepared for this. She wanted a baby sometime in the future, but now was the worst time.

Her phone _ding_ 'd, indicating that the four minutes were up.

 _It's positive._

Now Akari was at the kitchen table, rapping her fingers against the cup of coffee she made herself (though she hadn't yet taken a sip). Nagisa would be home in 15 minutes. She had texted him, just to ascertain that.

Akari knew him well, well enough to predict his reaction to her news. He would embrace her, kiss her, reassure her that they would get through this and that everything would be fine.

Of course he would. They lived together. They didn't label what they had, but she loved every second of the time they spent together. He was her go-to companion when she was having awful flashbacks, or even hanging around the apartment watching television in her pajamas. He'd seen the worst of her, and still wanted to spend his life with her. And when they entangled, she'd whisper the sweetest things to him. _I love you, I want to grow old with you, don't ever let me go._ She meant every one of them- but did Nagisa really believe that she did? People say all kinds of things in bed, after all.

The apartment door opened with a _creak_. Akari straightened out her skirt and brushed the doughnut crumbs off of the table.

Nagisa walked in, he seemed to be glowing. A great day at work, he went on. Every student in 3-5 aced the astronomy test. He managed to incorporate a lesson that Koro-sensei had taught them all those years ago and make it relevant to how Tanaga had unfortunately cost the soccer team their game over the weekend by being a sloppy goalkeeper. By the end of the day his student was smiling again and laughing with his classmates. Koro-sensei would be proud of him.

But he surely wouldn't be proud of **her** , keeping secrets again.

Indecision bit at Akari's tongue. Nagisa was so happy right now, so content with his life. His blue eyes (would their son or daughter inherit those?) sparkled with every word. He would be a wonderful father, but he didn't know that yet. She was about to change the relationship between them forever. No going back from this. _Koro-sensei, Nee-san, Mom, give me strength._

And just like that, anxiety clamped Akari Yukimura's mouth shut with an iron grip. She had no right to their assistance. She lived, and was even having a child when they suffered untimely deaths. Nagisa perked up, noticing her silence.

"What's wrong, Akari? You're awfully quiet." Nagisa was now in the kitchen, preparing dinner.

"Nothing is wrong, Nagisa." She lied through her teeth. "I don't like what the screenwriters are doing with the next season of Dragonfly. That's all."

She knew Nagisa didn't believe it, though. When you are best friends, lovers with someone for over eight years, when you've lived with them, you learn their subtleties. Nagisa knew the way Akari twitched when she was lying. Like a little static shock was sent through her.

He doesn't push it, though. Not tonight. "Dinner is ready. I hope you were looking forward to that recipe for chipotle teriyaki beef that we found the other day."

* * *

Akari procrastinated telling him for the next few days. Every time she got the courage to begin saying it, anxiety would come up and bite her tongue. As if she didn't know how to be honest anymore.

Every night before bed, and every morning on her way to the set, she felt self-hatred well up inside her. _What the hell are you expecting, Akari Yukimura? That he won't notice when you're visibly nine months along? That you'll just give birth in secret and he'll never know he's a father?_ Every night, she took the test again. It always read positive.

Tonight was the night, she decided. She was going to tell him. It didn't matter how afraid she was (afraid of what? She wasn't sure herself). So she took another home test as Nagisa walked in the door. _Pregnant_ , it read in big red hiragana. She slipped it into her pocket and walked out into the kitchen area to greet her boyfriend (or whatever he'd become after this).

Nagisa had been out shopping for groceries. Akari, or Kayano, or Haruna, or whoever she was anymore (she was beginning to question her identity) decided not to go. She wanted to rehearse her scripts, or so she told him. "Okay," he told her as he kissed the top of her head. He'd bring back her favorite pudding. Her heart soared.

She gestured for him to sit down at the table. "Nagisa, I learned something today."

"But you were home all day." Nagisa mused. "Oh crap, did Okuda's experiment go wrong again?"

"Huh?" Oh, that. She was trying to figure out a way to genetically engineer unicorns into existence (minus the magic, of course. Just a horse with a horn). Akari doubted it was possible, but if anyone could do it, it was Okuda. The last they heard about that, the chemicals she used to isolate horse DNA had a bad interaction and the lab was a mess. Her professor was not pleased. "No, nothing like that. Something that will change our life."

"Did you get an offer to be in that new morning drama I heard about? Y'know, the one with the idol group."

Sigh. Karasuma might have to give up his title as Densest Motherfucker in All of Japan to her boyfriend. She slid the positive test across the table.

"Nagisa, I'm _pregnant_."

Akari hid her face, not even feeling worthy of seeing Nagisa's reaction to the news that he was going to be a father. But she heard his feet hit the floor, felt his arms around her, his lips on her cheek, his head on her shoulder. She expected that, and she knew what he'd say next, verbatim.

"Are you sure?" He pulled his head away to look at her eyes.

"I'm sure. I took four of those."

"Did you just find out?" He lifted her chin to look at him (he still had a couple of centimeters on her). "How do you feel? How far along are you?"

"I've known since Thursday." Akari felt her eyes getting wet. "I'm sorry I put off telling you. I had a hard time saying it out loud."

"It's okay, it's okay, we can handle it." He patted her shoulder and hugged her again- gently this time, as if he might hurt the baby.

She trembled. "Obviously we should have been safer, but now that this is in our future… I want it."

"Me too." He fumbled for her hand, reflecting on how soft her palm was.

As the days went on, it became even more and more clear that Akari was pregnant, in case she was in denial about all those tests. Her breasts were now quite sore (maybe they'd grow? Perhaps just wishful thinking). Every morning she'd run to the bathroom and, Nagisa followed her in and held her hair back as she threw up. She would cry at the drop of a hat, just the other day she cried because she had asked Nagisa to bring her home green tea ice cream and he brought home _matcha_ flavor instead because "the store was out of green tea flavor" (then why didn't he go to the convenience store and buy it there?)

They saw the doctor the next week. Akari had seen this doctor for years and trusted her, there was no chance of this secret getting out.

Yep. She ran tests on everything, and they all came back positive. Due June 21st. No complications, by the look of it (except for this awful nausea, Akari thought with derision).

Akari told her manager the following day. He was understanding, his primary concern was with her health and safety. Of course. He was her manager ever since Akari was a child. He was like a surrogate father to her. "It's okay Yukimura-san, these things happen. When are you due?" They were hidden away in his office, the walls were thankfully very thick in this studio, to prevent eavesdropping on stars.

"June 21st. What can we do, Yuu-san? This absolutely needs to be a secret."

"This season ends filming in December. So you'll have a three month bump. But then we won't be filming again until August of next year."

"That makes things easier." Akari looked around at his messy office. A poster from a drama she was in as a child had a spot in the back left corner. It had been there for well over a decade.

"I'll reject all new offers for you until season three. Just lay low, okay?"

Akari's heart felt light. "Thanks, Yuu-san. I knew I could depend on you."

* * *

As Akari walked home, Nagisa at her side, she couldn't help but wonder what kind of a mother she would be, given the example she had.

Her own mother died when Akari was twelve. It was one of the pivotal moments in her life. She went off to school in the morning, kissed her Mom goodbye, and when she came home Mommy was lying on the floor with no detectable pulse. She called Aguri, who left cram school in a rush. The paramedics flooded in the door. The autopsy said it was an electrolyte imbalance. Something about the pills she was taking. They threw off her entire body chemistry.

In hindsight, any logical person would say it was no surprise. Mom was always sick, always unstable. She had periods of blindness, or of not being able to walk in a straight line. She would complain of chronic pain, numbness, fatigue, leg-dragging, and would be inexplicably sad for periods of time. But Akari was too young to understand her pain. To her, Mom was invincible. 'Haruna' went on a long hiatus after that to cope.

But she remembered so much about her mother. She had the same passion for education that Aguri did. She was supposed to be a schoolteacher, but after Aguri was born she too sick to go back to work. So a housewife was what she remained.

The day they shoved Mom into the cremation oven was the first day that Akari Yukimura's heart broke. The second was the day of her sister's death. The third was when she realized that it was her fault that the fun times her class had with Koro-sensei were over and that they now knew the truth behind his existence. The fourth was being passed over for the role of Amaterasu in _Origin of the Rising Sun_.

* * *

Well, it was time to tell their friends.

Karma was the first to hear (and of course he called Nakamura immediately so they could die laughing together), then Okuda and Sugino. They were overjoyed to have a niece or nephew, but didn't anticipate that this would come so soon.

It was not the type of thing that could just post in the groupchat, so they requested that Isogai organize a small reunion so that everyone else could hear. The weather was pleasant that day, so they stood up and commanded everyone's attention.

It was Akari who spoke first. "… We're having a baby."

A few seconds of stillness. Then a swarm of friends.

"Are you okay?"

"We'll help you!"

"Koro-sensei told us to use protection!"

It was love and hugs and acceptance, after the initial shock wore off. Good. At least they had support somewhere.

His mother was next on their list. This would be the difficult part.

Hiromi's age was catching up to her- it may have had to do with the stress of her husband leaving her, for good this time. He even limited his contact with Nagisa, probably out of fear that Hiromi would use their son to try to weasel her way back into a relationship with her ex. At least, the last time Nagisa spoke to his father, that's what he hinted at.

Talking to Nagisa's mother in her own house wasn't the safest option, but it meant that she couldn't break any of their belongings out of rage. Nagisa was still bitter about the time she threw his first iPhone out the window when she went through his texts and found him chatting with Sugino on a night he swore he was studying.

"We're pregnant." When those words left Nagisa's lips, it was obvious from the look on Grandma's face. Pleasant, then neutral, then annoyance, anger, and finally pure rage.

"You bastard," She slapped her son on the cheek. "You're ruining your life, like I always knew you were. Worse yet, you're ruining _mine_!"

Akari tried to make the mistake of trying to intervene. She was just the next target of Hiromi's rage.

"I don't even know you. And you're going to be the mother of my grandchild!?" She picked up a vase and threw it, narrowly missing Nagisa's head.

"Get out of my apartment," She hissed. "It better at least be a girl. That's all I want from this!"

"Will we tell your father?" Nagisa asked her the next night, washing the dishes.

Akari's heart stopped. Her only living family (until the baby's arrival). She hadn't spoken to him since her sister's funeral. What would she even say to him? "Hey, I know we haven't spoken in almost a decade, but you're a grandfather?" Truthfully, she didn't think she could even trust a man who ignored his own daughter for her entire teenage year with her baby.

"No." She rasped.

Nagisa knew that was the answer long before the question left his mouth. But he had figured it should at least be brought up.

* * *

Akari woke up drenched in sweat. Her heart was pounding so loudly that she couldn't hear anything over it. It didn't even register in her mind that she woke up screaming.

Nagisa was already up, and next to her. "Akari," he whispered, running a hand through her long hair.

The actress finally realized that she was hyperventilating. This happened every once in a while. She'd have nightmare about… Well, she had her list of events to pick from. Coming home from a normal day at sixth grade, cheeks red from the winter cold, to find her mother sprawled on the kitchen floor turning blue and clammy. Waiting at Nee-san's lab, intending to have a nice dinner with her and catch up, only for the lab to explode. Her sister lying in the rubble, with that glazed over look in her eyes. Or Koro-sensei's head in her lap one moment, then a glowing light and the weight being lifted off of her as their beloved teacher floated towards the sky.

Tonight's was particularly bad. She was being impaled by the fake God of Death. Reliving that trauma all over again. Knowing at that jump that this was endgame, the injury that didn't even hurt due to shock, and then succumbing to the darkness. The shocked faces of her classmates. She didn't actually see them when it occurred (blood loss makes you weary), but she could imagine.

When that actually happened to her, she woke up what felt like minutes later, Koro-sensei's tentacle in her palm and her sister's voice shooing her away from the realm of the dead. _"It's not your time yet, sis."_ , she grabbed Akari's hand and walked her towards her classmates in the distance. But in this dream, that part never happened. The cycle just started again, which her lunging at Koro-sensei's former apprentice. Each time she focused on a different detail: the way she felt the life ebb out of her, how the blackness came all at once, how her life flashed before her eyes in those few seconds.

"… Which one was it this time?" Nagisa asked her. It was a stormy night; she could barely see him in the darkness. But he was always there, every time it happened, to hold her and tell her everything would be just fine.

"The fake God of Death."

"Ahh, that one." He wrapped his arms around her. "It's okay. Cry if you have to." He grabbed the box of tissues and handed it to her. "I'll stay up with you. Do you need anything?"

Akari clutched her belly, as if to ensure that her baby was still there. If she got stabbed through the torso again, the baby would be lost before she even was able to process what had happened.

"Hold me tighter, please." She knew she wouldn't get back to sleep, but maybe he would fall asleep with her in his arms. That way he'd at least get the sleep he needed to function at work tomorrow, and she'd be comforted enough to be somewhat calm in a few hours.

"Of course I will."

They didn't sleep at all that night. By the time the sun rose, the memory had begun to fade and Akari could finally pull herself out of bed and force herself to start the day. It was an act at first, but eventually she threw herself into the role of What Haruna Mase Has To Do Today.

* * *

The cherry blossoms were early this year. Akari and Nagisa took that as a good sign, they came out early _that_ year too. Filming had finished a long time ago, and Akari was now very much visible. So, she stayed indoors as much as she could.

Today she was bedridden with aches and pains. In her neck, in her back, in her heart (most of all). She craved sweets, more intensely than usual. She was still plagued by morning sickness.

Nagisa bombarded her with nice text messages, checking up on her every hour.

 **How are you? You seemed miserable this morning. Do you want me to come home at lunch and bring you some of that candy you like from the sweet shop?**

Wasn't she supposed to be, y'know, NOT a distraction to Nagisa, so he could focus on his teaching career? _Well, look at the mess you made of_ _ **that**_ _, Akari Yukimura. All because you were so selfish that being his friend wasn't enough. You just had to sleep with him._

* * *

"A girl." The ultrasound technician announced.

"A girl." Nagisa placed his hand on Akari's shoulder, as her belly was occupied by the technician's appliances.

"I want to call her Aguri." The twenty-two-year-old put her hands over her womb. They were at home sitting in the baby's room.

"Aguri." Nagisa repeated. "… I know why."

"I know people will hear that name and make judgements on us, but, for my sister…" Akari felt her presence now.

Nagisa knew how she felt. He may not have understood sisterly bonds, but as a teacher he had a full appreciation of how wonderful Yukimura-sensei was. So it made sense to him too, to keep her memory alive.

* * *

June 21st came and went. Akari's labor didn't begin. Aguri kicked and shifted endlessly for the next few days, but Akari didn't feel a single contraction and her water hadn't broken. She went to the doctor, who confirmed that her labor should begin any day now.

Akari felt anticipation and trepidation at 'any day'. She wanted this. She knew she wanted to be a Mom for years, even during the times when she was debating quitting showbusiness and getting a quaint job she knew this was something in her future. But were she and Nagisa ready? It seemed that even Koro-sensei couldn't prepare for this.

"Are you anxious about giving birth?" Nagisa asked her one night as they got into bed.

 _That?_ No, just everything that came after.

She chuckled. "I was impaled through the torso by the fake God of Death. And I had two anti-matter tentacles drilling into my brain for a year. The pain of this will be nothing compared to that."

Just as she said that, Akari felt a _pop_ and warm fluid flooded her thighs.

"Get me to the hospital now." She rushed around fixing her hair and putting contacts in.

Akari took a final look at her phone before the nurses took her into the maternity ward. _June 25th, 8:16._ So her baby's birthday would probably be June 26th.

After 14 hours of labor, Akari felt herself disassociating. It was like her soul was being ripped from her body. No, this wasn't like getting impaled. That was a few seconds of shock, then all blackness, then Koro-sensei's tentacle in her hand and Nagisa embracing her.

This was unending, brutal agony. She had cried to the point that tears would not come out anymore. And that was with an epidural! How did women do this millennia ago, with nothing but dirty forceps and a tub of hot water?

"How much longer will this take?" Akari's legs had fallen asleep.

The midwife gave her a look of sympathy. "You aren't anywhere close to being done. You haven't even started pushing yet."

 _Mom, if you're there, please guide me through this._

After what seemed like the millionth push, Akari finally heard a cry. She felt like she was in a twilight zone between awake and asleep, conscious and unconscious. All she wanted was to see her baby. Akari was born with jet-black hair, she wondered if her daughter was too.

One of the nurses' assistants cleaned up the blood. "Your daughter is perfect healthy. You said her name is Aguri?" The assistant had a disappointed look on her face.

Akari wanted to react to that, but she blacked out from exhaustion.

Akari held Little Aguri in her arms. She didn't have the energy to speak, but she certainly had a lot to say.

Little Aguri had her black hair and Nagisa's nose. She was tiny, only 2.5 kg, and Akari felt her heart beat when she held her to her chest. She didn't think it was possible to love a person this much. And she had only known her for three minutes.

 _Koro-sensei, Nee-san, please watch over her._ They were there, in that room with her, and they were listening. She was sure of it.

Nagisa was finally permitted to come into the room. He got his turn holding their daughter. The look on his face made Akari realize that he agreed it was all worth it.

* * *

What hour was it, what day? Akari and Nagisa didn't know or care. They were on the couch, Baby Aguri was in Akari's arms, drinking milk. It had been like this for the past day. They were enchanted by just holding her. Such a new little person who was all theirs.

"She's perfect." Nagisa gently touched the tufts of black hair she had.

"Perfect." Akari agreed.

The baby chirped. Akari's heart broke again, but in a different way than all of those other times.

* * *

Give Akari Yukimura (Akari Shiota, as she liked to think of herself) a medal in the Olympics of Delaying the Inevitable. She had given birth three days ago, and she was being hounded with calls from Nagisa's mother.

Nagisa took all of them. Akari sat in the baby's room, she could hear her mother-in-law's shrill voice over the phone.

"I want to see my granddaughter." She demanded, with emphasis on the last word. As if to boast that she had a female descendant. "What am I supposed to do with all of these pink clothes? You know, the ones that were yours as a baby."

 _"No."_ Akari mouthed, shaking her head.

By Saturday she would accept no more excuses. Baby Aguri was already three days old and Grandma would see her come hell or high water.

There was pounding on the apartment door. "Kaede Kayano, let me in."

Akari was grateful that Nagisa's mom never learned of her real name or identity. She at least had some degree of privacy around this woman.

"Please get the door." The new mother could barely walk, her entire body still felt like jello.

Hiromi dropped several bags in the corner of the living room. They seemed to be full of anything pink or purple. A fuzzy pink onesie that read _Mommy's Little Princess_ fell on the ground.

Hiromi tore Aguri out of her mother's arms. "My grandbaby. Why would you name her something awful like Aguri? So cruel."

"It was after Kaede's sis-" Nagisa began to boil a pot of tea.

"Still awful." She didn't even take her eyes off the grandchild, cradling her and pacing around the flat.

But the baby seemed to have the effect of making Hiromi easier to deal with.

"Kaede, dear, how do you feel?"

"Like I was just split open." First name basis, really?

"If there's anything you ever need, please let me know." She smiled, a sweet smile that could fool someone who didn't know her.

 _No, can't rely on you_ , Akari bit her tongue and lied again.

"Thanks, Miss Shiota."

"Call me Mom."

* * *

Baby Aguri was already a month old. The month had dragged (sleep was rapidly becoming a thing of the past), but whenever Akari and Nagisa saw their little girl they forgot about the trouble they went through for her.

Akari received a very peculiar text on a weekday night. One that would be burned into her memory forever, from someone she had given up on a long time ago. Her father.

 _Hello, Akari dear. I don't know how long it's been since you were called that. After all, I haven't been that hands-on in your life since your mother died, and especially after your sister. I admit the name hasn't crossed by lips in ages, though it's been on my mind every day._

 _For all of that, I'm sorry. I've taken you for granted. You were here, alive and well, for the past decade, and I pretended you didn't exist. But I haven't ever recovered since Aguri. Every day of the past nine years has felt like wading through a swamp of absolute agony. I get deeper and deeper with every step, and the misery compounds. By the time you read this, I'll thankfully be beyond saving._

 _I heard you have a child now. A girl. I bet she's perfect. She's related to the three best women in the world. You had the most angelic little face when you were born. Look at your old baby pictures; they're in the box I keep under the ottoman. You were the perfect child. We always knew you were destined for greatness. It was your sister who thought to name you Akari, did you know that, love…? It means bright. Your sister was full of wonderful ideas; why did the kami take her that day and not a murderer or a terrible person, or even an old person with nothing left to live for?_

 _Sorry, I'm crying again. I'm not worthy of knowing her, though. Your daughter, I mean. Please don't feel bad for not contacting me when you were pregnant to share the news, I don't blame you for that. I ignored you for nine years. You and your baby girl deserve better. Whoever the father is, I hope his family has accepted you as their own. I'm sure he's worthy of you; you always did have great judgement when it came to people._

 _Before I go, my final prayer for you is that you never ever have to go through what I did with our family. I know this isn't an apology, but my will should keep you financially secure for life if you spend it wisely. I'm sure you will. My money is split evenly between you and my granddaughter. All of my personal belongings are yours. I paid off all of my debts, so you don't have to worry about that._

 _I hope in the next life, or maybe the life after this, I can be reincarnated as one of your descendants. But given the way I've lived this life, I probably won't be. I'll probably go to hell for the next quintillion years. I wonder which hell I'll be sentenced to?_

 _Goodbye until the next life (maybe?) Akari, my little girl. You've been the light of my life since the day you were born._

 _Love, Dad_

The Queen of the Morning Dramas shoved her phone into the nearest purse she could find. Never mind that purse was actually a diaper bag that was completely empty (no need to have a full one when you never go out). She threw her ID, wallet, keys, and Suica card into the bag. She hastily replied to her father before looking for her shoes.

 **Wait Dad, I want to see you!**

"Nagisa," It came out as a demand. "I'm going to be selfish right now. I need you for what's about to happen. So please find someone to take care of Baby Aguri and find me." She slipped her shoes on, not even caring to get in disguise. She was still in pajamas.

"What?" Nagisa called from the baby's room and wandered out. "Where are you going? What's happening?"

"I'm going to Great Dragon condominiums, near Shinjuku station. I think my dad just killed himself."

* * *

Could this subway take any longer!? It was like it was stopping at every station in Tokyo! Maybe she had just misinterpreted the text she got. Maybe he had decided to put off doing the deed and was contemplating his life. Maybe her text saved him. _Aguri, Mom, please intervene. Please convince him not to join you yet!_

The train had finally arrived at Shinjuku station. Akari dashed out of there and ran to where her father had been living since her mother's death. She had only been there a few times, but the building was freakin' huge. There was no way she could miss it.

"… Was that Haruna Mase?" A station attendant wondered aloud.

Akari was too late. Police cars, an ambulance, and dozens of pedestrians crowded around the south side of the building. Their murmurs were deafening to her. "Was there any foul play involved?"

"Let me through." She was still tiny, so she could maneuver her way in between these strangers.

One of the police grabbed her by the shoulder. "This is an ugly scene right here. It's nothing for you of all people to see. You should step back and let us handle it."

"I'm his daughter. Let me through!"

Reluctantly, they did so. And Akari regretted it immediately.

According to the autopsy report, Satoshi Yukimura jumped from the balcony of his 57th floor condo at 9:20 pm. And at 9:29 pm on Tuesday, July 30th of the year 2024, he passed away. The cause of death was cardiac arrest. He had a heart attack 30 stories before he hit the ground. He never even saw her text.

She didn't attend her father's funeral in disguise. It was already public knowledge that Satoshi Yukimura, Director of Yukimura Pharmaceuticals and one of the richest men in all of Tokyo, was the father of Haruna Mase, so she might as well. It was the first time Akari appeared in public since Aguri's birth. Nagisa accompanied her. That was a big risk, but she didn't want to do this alone.

She looked terrible. She knew she looked terrible. She hadn't slept in what felt like months. She hadn't bathed in an embarrassingly long time. Her hair was a mess. She had no makeup on. She had just washed baby shit out of the black dress shirt she was wearing (how it even got there was a mystery to her). She still had a lot of baby weight she hadn't lost. But the tabloids would just assume it was solely because of grief over her father's death. Fine, let them believe that. Karma and Okuda were babysitting Aguri for the few hours that Nagisa and Akari would be at the funeral.

The old priest droned on. Akari was a devout Shintoist and Buddhist, but she wouldn't bring herself to listen to this man talk about her father's life. She couldn't, what was she supposed to even make of it? And when her father was shoved into that cremation oven, she lost her composure and ran out.

She heard Nagisa's feet following her, which comforted her. That comfort was quickly torn away from her when she was blinded by the _snaps_ of cameras right outside the doors of the funeral parlor.

"Haruna-sama!" This one was ugly, with big teeth and rancid breath. "What have you been doing in the past seven months?"

"What was it like, when your father died?"

"What are your upcoming plans?"

Rage. "Get out of my face!" She shoved the paparazzi away from her, and violently grabbed Nagisa's hand. Maybe those assholes would notice her companion, maybe they wouldn't. She didn't really care right now, she wanted privacy and reassurance. Something she didn't get from these guys, or from fans that worshipped the ground she walked on.

No part of the text he had sent Akari was a lie. She was the executor of the will, which split all of his assets equally between his daughter and his granddaughter. She never had any money problems in her life, but now she was easily a millionaire.

But that didn't matter to her. Fancy clothes, cars, upscale condos, and whatever else the average person would spend that kind of inheritance on did not interest her right now. What interested her was stability. She had one month of that before she went back to showbiz. Every couple of nights, she would lie back in bed contemplating giving up acting for good and being a stay at home mom. Every time, she decided against it. Acting was her passion, she couldn't give that up because she was having a few rough months. She would probably be retired at thirty anyway, because that was what idols did.

These thoughts ran her ragged as she sat on the couch breastfeeding Aguri. Nagisa was in the shower. The baby was finally starting to fall asleep, only to jolt back awake and cry.

 _Shh, it's okay._ Akari tried to burp her, but she only cried more. That was the straw that broke the camel's back; Akari joined in her waterworks.

"I think Aguri is picking up on your emotions." Nagisa appeared in front of her. When did he get out of the bathroom?

"I'll take her." Nagisa took the baby out of her arms. "I'll give her a bath. You go to bed, you haven't slept properly since the funeral."

Nagisa's footsteps became distant as he walked into the bathroom. The former Kaede Kayano trudged on to the bedroom and flopped down. She used the silk blanket to dry her tears.

 _At least…_ _ **Your**_ _father won't abandon you, Aguri. That's one thing you and I don't have in common. That's one thing we can give you that I didn't have._

* * *

Autumn that year was crisp and chilly again. Akari resumed acting, and it seemed like her adoring fans were none the wiser about the real reason for her little hiatus. A nanny, who was sworn to secrecy, took care of Aguri during the day.

But soon Akari felt a malaise that was all too familiar. Her mood seemed to be governed by the sign of the moon, she was sore and achy all over, she felt nauseous at the smell of certain foods. And on Halloween night, she became sure of the reason why.

 _I just had a baby five months ago. How could I be pregnant again?_

This time she didn't put off delivering the news to Nagisa.

"I'm sorry this happened again. But in my defense, Okuda told me you can't get pregnant while breastfeeding." She scratched her scalp, sending her long black locks fluttering.

"This is the first thing I've known her to be wrong about. Well, I mean, she's had no success with the unicorn pursuit," Nagisa rubbed his temples. "So I guess that makes two things now."

Akari began to cry. It came upon her suddenly, she had no reason to believe it was imminent. "I'm sorry Nagisa. This is all my fault."

"Don't be sorry. You haven't done anything wrong."

* * *

"Are you two on a mission to single-handedly solve Japan's population crisis?" Nakamura teased them over a long-distance call.

"Shut up." Akari turned red, not that her friend could see it.

"That wasn't a no." The blonde purred.

Akari burst into tears and ran into the bedroom.

"… Um, sorry? Nagisa, tell Kayano I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that."

* * *

This pregnancy was rough on her. Her ankles were puffy. Morning sickness every day for months. Mood swings like a pendulum. The only way she could hide her belly was by hiding behind countertops. She ate everything in the house, on a weekly basis.

Hotaru Shiota was born on a hot summer night. Akari clutched her close to her chest, as if someone might take her and run away. Hotaru latched onto her and fed. Akari traced her finger across the newborn's soft skull, twirling it in her blue hair. She was tiny like Aguri, but seemed to be less vocal.

Akari had a full three weeks of being at home alone with the babies. Summer break would start again soon, and Nagisa would join her. But until then, she had to be the sole caretaker for nine hours out of the day. She wouldn't dare ask Nagisa to take the day off to help her, not even on the days that both of them were sick, or that she hadn't slept in nights due to the bad dreams. She just grinned and assured him that she could handle it, what she needed from him was to go out and make Koro-sensei proud. She had done enough to distract him from his target.

Baby Aguri, now thirteen months old, was extremely attached to the both of them. After Nagisa kissed them goodbye in the morning it was a good thirty minutes of trying everything to get the waterworks to stop. Akari couldn't put her down and leave the room for a few seconds without Aguri crawling after her.

Today she was particularly needy, clinging to Akari's leg and she kicked the laundry basket into the other room. Hotaru was in her arms.

"Mommy." Aguri pulled on the leg of her shorts, chanting one of the three words in her vocabulary. "Mommy, mommy!"

"What?" The laundry basket tipped over and Akari placed Baby Hotaru on top of the mess of clothes.

Aguri looked over at her sister, and a split second later tumbled on the ground crying.

 _Oh._ Akari didn't think it was possible when she was this young, but there it was. She was jealous of the attention her little sister was getting.

Akari crouched down. She didn't know how much of this her child would understand, but she'd try.

"Mommy and Daddy love you both equally. But we only have so much attention to go around."

Aguri pointed to Hotaru and the bundle of clothes. "Baby."

A new word. "Yes, baby. You're my baby too."

She picked Aguri up off the ground. "Now you both need a bath. This floor hasn't been cleaned in ages and you're crawling around on it like a little monkey."

* * *

Akari looked over at the clock next to her. It was 2:03 am. The August heat wave was unbearable, even with AC on full blast. It was only a matter of time before one or both of the babies started screaming again. They'd be sick for three more days, the doctor said. And it was still only day one.

Nagisa was passed out next to her. Sprawled out on the couch, the lesson plans for next semester were spread out. He was snoring lightly.

Akari smiled and patted his head. He shifted a bit, then went back to snoring. _I couldn't have a more supportive boyfriend_ , she thought to herself. She really didn't deserve him, after the way she used him and everyone during that year.

Akari drifted off to sleep too, for the first time in days. But it wasn't for long, the sound of two crying babies woke both parents up again.

Akari was filled with an emotion she didn't have a word for. It was somewhere south of absolutely-clueless-and-terrified and east of we-can't-do-this-alone. There was only one person who could give her advice with this.

She ran into the other room and took her phone off the charger. Scrolling through her contacts, she was intent on calling one person she hadn't talked to in many years.

Akari stared at the phone screen. There was nothing in this world she was aware of right now but that number. Not the babies screaming in the next room, not Nagisa's hand on her shoulder, not the jagged staccato of her own breathing.

 _Mom_

 _Cell: XXX-YYY-ZZZZ_

The cell phone fell to the ground with a _thud_. Akari fell to her knees.

 _Akari Yukimura, she's dead. Mom is dead._ Her mind berated her. You can't get advice from a dead person.

At some point Nagisa must have left the room, because the next thing she knew he was in front of her with a child in either arm. "They're inconsolable." Little Aguri threw up on his pajama shirt. "I don't think we're getting back to sleep tonight."

"Okay." Akari finally calmed her heart. "Give me one of them."

You may not be able to get advice from a dead person, Akari knew, but you might as well try. The next morning, Akari put a framed picture of her mother in the butsudan and burned some incense. She prayed for her mother's guidance from beyond the grave. Mom raised two daughters as well. This would be no problem to her, right?

Akari expected to be spoken to in her dreams, like Nee-san sometimes did to her. When she had no dreams at all for a week, she burned a bowl of cooked rice as an offering. It was seasoned with her mother's old recipe (soy sauce, sesame oil, a whole lot of garlic). She even prayed to her sister and her father to contact Mom on her behalf. But she never got a response from her Mom. Unless the fortune cookie that read "You will soon realize the joy you live in" was actually her Mom speaking. And how did that help her with her exhaustion?

Who else was there to talk to? 3-E was currently childless except for her and Nagisa, so they had no knowledge of what she was going through. They were all twenty-five, they weren't even thinking about kids yet. She couldn't let anyone at the studio know about her secret family. She could pray to Koro-sensei or Nee-san, but they had no experience in the area either. Now being a Mom isolated her.

The next 3-E reunion was held at the old school building, as usual. It had been nine years since graduation, ten since the moon blew up. Everyone was changing, becoming more serious. That's what it seemed like on the outside, at least. Whenever they all got together, certain people seemed to revert to the teenage years again.

"Akabane, you bastard! Why'd you put wasabi in the tea kettle!?"

"You're an assassin, Terasaka. You should never let your guard down." The redheaded devil snickered. His 'niece' Aguri was on his lap.

"Terasaka, there's no wasabi in anyone else's tea. It's just your cup." Kataoka said, deadpan.

"You ass!"

"Hara." Akari was comforted by the presence of her old friend. Maybe she'd have some advice to offer? She was always the motherly one. "How have you been?"

"Got a job as a receptionist. I wish my boyfriend would hurry up and propose already." She sighed.

"I could say the same of Nagisa, but it looks like he and I are doing things out of the traditional order." She laughed. "Anyway, you babysit kids sometimes, right?"

"Yes, all the time." Hara took Hotaru out of Akari's arms. "I can't wait to have my own, but that won't be for a few years."

"You'll be great with them. Anyway, Hotaru won't sleep through the night. Do you have any recommendations?"

"Hmm, sorry I can't say. I've never watched kids overnight." Hara tickled Hotaru, who cooed.

There went her last pillar of support. Now she had no choice but to turn to Nagisa's mother for advice. Who knew what she'd get, or if it would even be good.

"Let me take them." Nagisa's mom scooped them both up, one in each arm. "She's screaming because you're keeping Grandma from her."

* * *

By the next November, Akari was pregnant again.

She wasn't even shocked anymore. But she was certainly frustrated. She had accepted a new role as the heroine of the period drama _Gone with the Waves_. She would just have to juggle this movie, being the parent of a two-year-old and a one-year-old, and carrying another baby all at once.

"Of the past two years, you've spent eighteen months carrying children and ten nursing." Okuda pushed up her glasses. "I did the math. Are you sure you're okay?" She felt her old friend for a fever.

Karma seemed a bit upset. "Are you sure you're okay, Kaede? I don't think it's good for your health to have so many pregnancies in such a short amount of time. At first I thought it was funny, but now I'm concerned."

"Well, we're not doing it on purpose."

This pregnancy was nothing like with Aguri and Hotaru. Akari felt more like herself. She wasn't excessively tired or prone to mood swings. She had no problem hiding it on camera. This silly period clothing made that quite easy. Another little girl, the doctors said. Nagisa had suggested to name her Fujiko, and Akari loved it.

"What if you give birth on set?" Karma joked.

No way that would happen, she tried to tell herself. This movie would end filming on June 19th. She wasn't due until July 7th. Plenty of time.

Of course, Murphy's Law applies.

It was the morning of June 16th, a Tuesday. Akari was at the studio, wrapped up in that ridiculous period clothing. At least it hid her eight-month belly. Filming scene 134, this was the final confrontation between her character, the spoiled daughter of a rich Sengoku Era Daimyou, and her lover. He was leaving her, for good this time.

"But where shall I go? What shall I do?" She grasped at her co-star's sleeve. Just the right amount of weeping that the audience believed she was distraught at her lover's departure but not too much that it was over the top.

Then there was a distinct feeling in the abdomen of popping and fluid running down her thighs. Oh crap.

"Frankly, my dear, I don't give a rat's ass." He tore away from her and walked off into the fake sunset.

"And CUT! Haruna-sama, that was perfect! You could win an Academy Award with that scene!"

She forced a smile. "How long do we film today?"

"Until three."

Five more hours. She only had five more hours of this. Her labor always took at least ten. She was in labor with Aguri for sixteen hours before she even started pushing. She could last five hours. Then she'd quickly get out of this stupid costume, rush over to the hospital, check herself in and bring Fujiko into the world. It would have to work. She'd make it work.

Just as that thought hit her brain, she felt a contraction seize her. And only two hours later, her contractions were fifteen minutes apart.

"We're taking a lunch break until one." The director announced. Akari headed straight for her dressing room and put a 'Do Not Disturb' sign on the door.

Thankfully, the room was spacious and was far from any place in the studio that would be full of people right now. Akari grabbed her phone out of her purse and texted Nagisa.

 **I'm giving birth.**

There was no more waiting. She'd get out of this clothing, tell the director she got sick and needed the day off, and sneak out to the hospital. She pulled up the contact info of the midwife who her doctor recommended.

 **I can come to you, I live a few blocks away. But if your contractions are fifteen minutes apart there's no way you're making it to the hospital in the middle of the day on a Tuesday. You'll have to have it in the dressing room.**

True to her word, Akiko the midwife was there in only a few minutes. After an explanation, Nagisa called in a substitute to teach the rest of the day and hurried over ( _Dammit Akari, you've distracted him again_ , she scolded herself). He snuck in and used the bench that was inexplicably lying around to barricade the door.

Akari was still in shock from the text. "I can't have it in here. I'll be found out." She cringed as another contraction hit her.

"You're seriously having it here!?" Nagisa went pale.

"If we leave right now you'll give birth on the subway. How's that for being found out?" She picked a blanket out of the mess of things in the closet and threw it on the ground. "Now get out of that dress and lay down."

"Are you sure you can do this?"

"I go to women's homes and deliver babies all the time. All I need is this." She held up the box of various tools that she brought with her. "Err, sorry, I don't have the epidural with me. You'll have to do it naturally."

"I will fucking kill you two when this is over," This had no hope of staying secret. Her career was over. "Just please make it as quick as possible."

Akiko tossed her a rag that had just ran under the sink. "Bite down on this. It'll keep you from screaming."

"What if I die?"

"You aren't the first woman to have done this. You'll be fine."

Akari was lying down on the floor, while Akiko took a look at what she was dealing with.

"Kayano, why didn't you come get me sooner? I can see the baby's head already!"

Nagisa's eyes went wide with shock. "Akari, are you okay?"

"Apparent- AHHH!" She chomped down on the cloth to muffle the screams that cut her off.

A knock on the door. "Haruna-sama? We start filming again in ten minutes."

"Haruna-sama isn't feeling well!" Akiko called out near the door. "She says go on without her."

"And who are you?" The voice responded. Akari grabbed Nagisa so hard he felt as if every bone in his hand was crushed.

"Just a maid."

The footsteps got further away. Good.

"Okay, start pushing on the count of three."

Akari would have been tired if she had given birth in any other setting, but adrenaline was keeping her running now. Thankfully, everyone in the studio had long since gone home by the time she was ready to leave.

Fujiko was pink-cheeked and perfect, just like her other babies. She was still fresh with that newborn baby smell that Aguri and Hotaru both had. She was swaddled up in a blanket and snuck out of studio.

It was another one of those nights spent dividing their attention between their children. Aguri was spread-eagled on a blanket on the floor, watching the Disney movie that was on the tv. Akari had Hotaru on her lap, she babbled "Mommy" and ran her fingers through Akari's hair. Fujiko was resting on Nagisa's chest, sleeping soundly.

It was an idyllic scene, and Akari wanted to bask in the joy of it. But that anxiety she could never get rid of nagged at the back of her mind. How would she handle three babies, all in diapers and none speaking full sentences, at once?

A _bang_ came from the tv. It seemed like Bambee's mom died. Akari clutched Hotaru closer.

* * *

Nightmare time again. Tonight it was an old one, but with a new twist. Akari rediscovered her sister lying in a pile of rubble and destruction. Yes, this again. And this dream never involved her seeing her sister alive. She couldn't focus on anything but how she knew what was coming as she ran towards her sister's body, the thoughts of how she could have save her if only she had convinced her to get off of her shift a few hours earlier and have a girls' night (never mind all the problems with that 'preventative measure'). While she was curled over her sister, her sister began to shrink and look younger. Her white labcoat turned into pink pajamas with a heart motif. Now it was Aguri Shiota lying dead in front of her.

Everyone in the Shiota-Yukimura household was awoken by the sound of screaming.

Akari shot out of bed and ran to the children's rooms. Fujiko was in her crib and had begun to cry herself. Aguri now had her own bed, and was up and hiding under the covers.

Akari picked the entire bundle up off the bed and tore the covers off. Her daughter was there, shaking and responsive. Just to be sure, she checked for a pulse.

 _Thump. Thump._

"Thank goodness you're safe." She pressed her lips to Aguri's cheek.

"Mommy," She was crying, probably because she picked up on Mommy's emotions again.

It was only now that Akari noticed Nagisa in the doorway. "Where's Hotaru?"

Akari felt her heart drop again.

Hotaru crawled out from under the bed and tackle-hugged her mother's leg.

Akari picked Hotaru up with her other arm and held her tightly. "Shh. Don't cry, girls. Mommy is here, everything will be fine." Nagisa went over to the crib and picked up Baby Fujiko.

She was confusing them for sure, they must have recognized their mother's screams. This wasn't an unheard-of occurrence in this house (though it was becoming less and less common recently).

After she and Nagisa calmed the children down and tucked them back into bed, Akari found herself unable to leave the room. She sat down next to the doorway.

Nagisa stopped. "… It was another one of _those_ dreams?"

"Yes." She bit her lip.

Nagisa sat down next to her. "Want me to stay with you?"

"Yes." She curled into a fetal position and rested her head on her boyfriend's shoulder.

* * *

Nagisa and Akari had moved to a house in suburban Tokyo not too long after that incident. It was a pain to commute 30 minutes to work every day, but it was even harder to hide the existence of Haruna Mase's three love children, all under the age of four, in a condo in crowded Tokyo. Soundproof walls could only do so much, people were surely beginning to wonder.

All three of the girls were walking and talking now, but they were so much smaller and lighter than other kids their age at the playgrounds. Akari feared they'd never grow. Nagisa never did.

The one constant in her life were the evenings when she and Nagisa would sit on the patio and watch the girls blow soap bubbles on the lawn. She was always fascinated by the way the bubbles could look pink or blue or green or purple depending on the angle you used to look at them. The effect was only amplified by the setting sun. If only life could always be this simple.

Hotaru ran into the bathroom, a pink balloon tied to her wrist. "Mommy! The carnival is in town!"

Akari, now twenty-eight, was rubbing ointment on almost six-year-old Aguri's scars. "That's wonderful, sweetie." Aguri had shut her hand in the door a few days ago and the wound wasn't healing properly. Should they go to a doctor?

"Can we go?" Hotaru jumped up and down, the pink ribbon in her hair on the verge of falling out.

"Yeah Mommy, can we?" Aguri joined in.

Akari sighed, bandaging up her daughter. "Okay. But you have to wear coats." It was mid-May and 25 Celsius out. "You could catch a cold."

Fujiko, recently known as Fuji-san, stumbled in carrying a plush Koro-sensei that Akari had knitted for all of them. The bubble wand was in her other hand. The youngest child in the family would be four soon, but she was still unsteady on her feet.

"Fuji-chan," Aguri hugged her baby sister. "Do you want to go to the carnival?"

"Yes!"

Akari smiled. "Okay. Get your coats on. I'll find Daddy and tell him what's going on."

* * *

The day seven-year-old Aguri came home from school crying was another day Akari would never be able to forget.

"Toru and Akane said I must have not been wanted!" Sobs wrecked her tiny body.

"Why do they say that, sweetie?" Akari picked her daughter up and cradled her (she was still small enough for it). Nagisa pressed his cheek against her head affectionately.

"My name." More sobs.

"Oh. Well…" She swirled Aguri's night black hair between her fingers. "It has a special meaning to our family."

"What?"

Akari turned to Nagisa. It was time for them to know. "Get the rest of the kids. They should all hear about this."

When all of the children were assembled in the room, Akari took the photo of Koro-sensei off of the butsudan. "You've all seen him before." It was impossible for them to have not. Images of him were everywhere in this house.

"Koro-sensei!" Hotaru jumped up. She had the plush doll of Koro-sensei in her fist.

Yes, the day had come for them to hear this. But what parts should she tell?

"It all started on the day the moon blew up…"

* * *

"Have you ever thought, maybe we should get married?" Nagisa asked her one day while she was cleaning out the cupboard.

That was another question from Nagisa, over the years, that did not surprise Akari. She would have had a heart attack out of joy if she had heard that at twenty, but now at twenty-nine she knew the question had been coming any day now.

But for making her wait so long to be his wife, she couldn't help but tease him. "I was waiting on you. Knocked me up three times and you're just proposing _now_?"

"Sorry I made you wait so long, Akari Shiota." He laughed and reached for her hand. "So that's a yes?"

Akari took a look at what he had slipped into her palm. A shiny platinum band.

"That's a yes."

The traditional Shinto ceremony took place at the Koro-sensei Memorial Mountain on the sunniest and brightest day of July. It was also the day that Akari officially retired as Haruna Mase. She didn't know how, but that was also the time it got out that she had three children in secret.

It blew up, of course. Those photos the paparazzi took of herself and Nagisa at her father's funeral resurfaced. Fans noticed her weight gain, how much her breasts had grown, how she avoided appearing in public at those times. Rumors even popped up that Aguri was born in her dressing room during the filming of _Gone with the Waves_! That one was amusing. Auditions for _Gone with the Waves_ didn't even begin until Aguri was sixteen months old.

Haruna Mase- No, Akari Shiota now only went out in disguises to keep her family from being hounded by paparazzi. That was one old game that she played too well. They'd lose interest soon, she told herself.

* * *

The years flew by. Before Akari knew it, the children were too big for her to hold anymore. And as soon as they were, they asked more and more about the Assassination Classroom.

 _I went to Kunugigaoka in disguise, because I didn't want to be recognized as Haruna Mase. That's where I met your Daddy, and Koro-sensei. And Koro-sensei knew your Aunt Aguri, and loved her very much, but she died._

She had told them so many times, word for word. But she left other details out. They couldn't know about her revenge scheme, or about her tentacles. She refused to stop protecting them from the devils of her past. It would break their hearts.

* * *

Fujiko was ten when she started getting sick.

She'd have outbreaks for only a few weeks. Muscle weakness, collapsing, double vision. She had trouble holding a pair of chopsticks. Forgetting things. Trouble sleeping.

They'd last for just two or three weeks. Then back to normal for nine months.

"I don't know." The doctors told Akari and Nagisa each and every time they took Fuji-san. They ran tests and came up with nothing. Just growing pains, maybe?

Akari clutched her chest. She had seen this before.

* * *

"You are absolutely not going to the mountain alone." The thirty-seven-year-old former movie star placed the piping hot pasta in the strainer. "I forbid it."

"Dad said we could." Hotaru sipped her root beer.

"Dad says a lot of things." Their mother turned the heat up on the stovetop.

"We'll call you or Dad at the first sign of trouble." Aguri Shiota spoke with an assurance that was far beyond her years (and that was inconsistent with her 137-centimeter-tall stature). Truthfully, when Akari spoke to her she sometimes forgot she was only fifteen. And sometimes, if Akari was sick or delirious from nightmares, she thought he was talking to her sister.

"No. You're waiting until this weekend. Your father and I will be happy to take you to take to the mountain to talk to Koro-sensei." The sauce boiled. "But not now."

"But," Hotaru slunk down onto the kitchen island. "What if this weekend is too late for Fuji-san?"

"Don't say that!" Akari snapped.

Silence. Nagisa stood in the hallway, having been drawn out of the study room where he had been coming up with lesson plans for the new term.

"… I'm sorry, dear. But please don't say such horrible things." Her voice was quiet, which her family knew meant that she was serious.

Nagisa walked into the kitchen and kissed his equally blue-haired daughter on the top of the head. "We're taking Fujiko to the doctor tomorrow, so don't worry. We've got it all under control."

 _Please let that be true,_ Akari prayed. She felt what she swore was a tentacle on her shoulder.

* * *

Fujiko was all strapped into the backseat of the family car (a minivan, because who would expect Haruna Mase to drive one of those?), playing on her phone. Thirteen-year-olds never change, even in the 2030's. Akari gave her a youngest child a hug before going in the house to get her husband.

Nagisa was just finishing his prayer in front of the butsudan, and Akari kneeled to join him.

 _Koro-sensei, Nee-san, Mom, Dad, please help Little Fuji-san._ She knew in that moment, that they would. Call it mother's intuition, but she was sure that her babies would grow up and navigate this world. They had so many people to rely on.

Akari found that her two older children were kneeling beside them.

 _These ones too, please watch over them._ She added to her prayer as she hugged them both. "Be good girls, okay?"

"Okay Mom." Aguri and Hotaru returned her hug. They both reminded her of their father at their age: Hotaru's soft blue hair, and Aguri's steadfast and calm personality. It comforted her. Geez, today was emotional all over.

"You said you'll be back around three?" Hotaru's voice was muffled against Akari's blouse.

"Yes, love." A simple 'see you later' could be 'goodbye forever'. She knew that more than anyone. But she was reassured by a soft, calm whisper in her ear. One she had to listen to- it was someone she trusted.

 _Don't worry, sis. I'll take care of them._

Another whisper joined hers.

 _Nurufufufu, as a teacher, I'll always watch out for my students._

When the door shut, Aguri turned to Hotaru.

"You heard it too, sis?"

"Yes."


End file.
